


No Harm Ever Came From Reading A Book

by LithiumLullaby



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Magic, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 02:48:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19347976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LithiumLullaby/pseuds/LithiumLullaby
Summary: From the outcry, one would have assumed Aziraphale had just asked an unreasonable favour of the Demon (and surely, nothing is regarded as unreasonable for a Demon). That would depend on how preposterous one would define engaging in fornication inside said Demon’s beloved Bentley. To Crowley, that was entirely out of the question.Aziraphale gets into a spot of trouble purchasing a Witch's book with a curse on it. Cue Crowley to the rescue.





	No Harm Ever Came From Reading A Book

**Author's Note:**

> Once again for my beautiful friend who edits my working lovingly.

"No. No, no, no, no. Absolutely not, Angel!" Crowley protested vehemently from his sprawled position on Aziraphale’s couch.

  
"Fine dear, no need to make a fuss. I was just curious, is all." Without flinching, Aziraphale turned the page of the old book he was reading.

  
From the outcry, one would have assumed Aziraphale had just asked an unreasonable favour of the Demon (and surely, nothing is regarded as unreasonable for a Demon). That would depend on how preposterous one would define engaging in fornication inside said Demon’s beloved Bentley. To Crowley, that was entirely out of the question.

  
He loved Aziraphale with his entire essence, but the Bentley was sacred to him. He didn't even allow the Angel to eat in the car, for fear of stains. Crowley had owned the ebony beauty since 1926 and had never got a single scratch on her (Armageddon doesn't count). The idea of getting the upholstery soiled or her windows smudged didn't sit comfortably with the Demon. He'd normally give Aziraphale anything the universe had to offer, but this was too much. The Bentley was an extension of himself, and to surrender it would be to relinquish his soul - a step Crowley was still too frightened to vaguely saunter into.

  
Aziraphale continued to read his book in silence at his desk. Crowley didn't fail to see the Angel's frown.

 

***

  
A week had passed since the Bentley argument and things continued in a relatively normal order, except Aziraphale was sulking. Lunch dates weren't quite as frequent and Aziraphale made more of a habit to be absent from the Bookshop when Crowley came calling. Many times, Crowley searched along the shelves looking for the tell-tale white hair, only to find a distinct lack of an Angel with his nose buried in a book.

Today was, in fact, one of those days. Crowley appeared at A. Z. Fell and Co with the intention of taking the Angel out for ice cream in St James Park because, the miracle it be (Demonic or Angelic), it hadn't rained for once that week. When he discovered an empty Bookshop, silent and dreary, he let out an exasperated groan. The Demon meandered back to the Bentley and sped off at 90 mph

  
***

  
Aziraphale was not trying to avoid Crowley today. He actually had something exciting to do that he knew that the Demon wouldn't be interested in. With the bus, he had made his way to a small village called Ashwell, just outside of London past the M25. The reason for his journey was to collect a book he had offered to purchase from an antique Bookshop by the name of L.B. Purcell Rare Books.

  
As he chatted away with the owner, Mr. Purcell the 4th, he inspected the cover of the tome in question. It was a first edition witch’s spell book, not usually what the Angel collected. What made him so interested were the tales he had heard of the author leaving inscriptions of different prophecies in the back of each published book. It would be a lovely addition to his collection of rare prophecy books.

  
Aziraphale almost squealed in delight when Mr. Purcell wrapped the book carefully in brown paper and finished the transaction. Thanking Aziraphale for his business, he exclaimed that he was always welcome. There was a spring in Aziraphale’s step as he walked down the high street of the quaint village, book in hand. He found the bus stop he needed for his return journey to London easily and sat down on the empty bench, surrounded by beautiful flowers arrangements.

  
The white-haired Angel felt so impatient with excitement that he just had to browse through the ageing book. He simply couldn't wait until he returned to London. Swiftly he slipped on a pair of white gloves he kept in his pocket. Despite his eager state, Aziraphale still treated the book with care as he delicately unwrapped the paper. When he opened the cover, his eyes glowing with appreciation of the design, the leather-bound tome revealed a shimmering front page. It was so mesmerizing, the Angel failed to notice the hex that was placed on the page. Unexpectedly the glittering page changed drastically to glow a dark purple. Concerned at the aura, Aziraphale tried to close the book - but wasn't fast enough to stop the explosion of purple energy fired his way. The sweet-smelling spell soaked into his clothes and skin quickly, leaving the poor Angel in a confused daze.

  
It took a moment for him to ground himself, Aziraphale feeling queasy and short of breath. The sweet scent hadn't disappeared with the glow. Whatever that spell did wasn't good - his legs felt wobbly and he found himself unable to stand when his bus arrived, so he waved the driver on.

  
After waiting for the nausea to subside, Aziraphale attempted to stand up again. He was more successful this time, but the sick feeling was replaced with a heated sensation across his entire body. The many layers the Angel favoured became all the more apparent as he touched his cheeks to feel how hot he was. At first, he thought it was a fever attacking his corporal body …until he gasped with sudden, horrified realisation.

  
Hurriedly, Aziraphale shuffled into the phone box next to the bus stop and tried to calm his panicked breathing. He moved the book from where he'd covered his groin with it to confirm his suspicions and yes, he was fully aroused in public. Mortified, Aziraphale knew he just couldn't get a bus back to London in this state. It was an hour’s journey, longer if they hit traffic, which they undoubtedly would.

  
Sighing, he knew his only choice was calling Crowley. The Demon would surely get a laugh at his expense but would come to get him all the same. He took out his address book from his coat and dialed Crowley's number on the barely functional pay phone.

  
It rang a few times before he got through.

  
"Hello?" Aziraphale heard Crowleys confused tone at the unusual number on his mobile.

  
"Crowley, dear, I'm in a spot of trouble...." Aziraphale paused as he felt another wave of nausea.

  
"What's wrong, Angel!? Where are you?!" Crowley demanded.

  
"Calm down, I'm not under attack. I just feel frightfully unwell, please.... Please could you come collect me? I am in a village called Ashwell." Aziraphale breathed steadily, trying to control the aroused shudder at Crowley’s assertive tone.

  
"What the bloody hell are you doing out there? Never mind, I'm on my way." Crowley exclaimed, relieved.

  
"Oh, jolly good, I'm ah...I'm waiting in the phone box." Aziraphale matched his relief, now that he avoided the embarrassment in public. Now he just had to wait for Crowley - but thanks to the Demon’s rough voice, his erection was even more obvious now. Aziraphale resolved to pretend to still be on the phone until Crowley arrived, with his back to the door so his coat hid his predicament.

  
***

It took Crowley 30 minutes to reach the village Aziraphale was stranded in. When he received the unusual phone call, he almost didn't answer, thinking it might be Hell calling. Alas, curiosity got the better of him. The sound of the Angel's voice on the other end had soothed his moping, life wasn't as fun when Aziraphale wasn't around. The Angel asking him for a lift was out of character - he knew something wasn't right, he hated Crowley's driving. Shrugging, he collected his keys and left his plants with a warning not to die while he was out.

  
When he arrived at the bus stop, the black Bentley earned a few stares from the locals. He found Aziraphale still hiding in the phone box. Maybe he was embarrassed to be feeling unwell around humans? The Angel's face looked flushed when he stumbled out the box, carrying yet another old book in front of him and clutching his jacket. Crowley cocked an eyebrow at the unusual manner, but waved it off as he waited for Aziraphale to get in.

  
"All this for another book?" Crowley smirked. Aziraphale gave a simple nod and smile in return. Crowley could feel how tense the Angel was from the driver’s seat, he really must felt unwell. They sped away from the village at a rocketing speed.

Aziraphale knew he'd made a big mistake. The moment he sat in the car, the scent of Crowley hit his senses hard. The leather mixed with the natural male musk shot heated waves of arousal through his body - it was overwhelming. He remembered their (not quite) argument from last week about the Bentley. It had started as a casual conversation about fantasies, where they discovered Crowley had fulfilled quite a numerous amount of his concerning Aziraphale, but the Angel had yet to fulfil just one. He thought Crowley would like the idea of taking him in the Bentley, and it had hurt him to hear the vehement protest.

  
Thinking back on the conversation did little to help his situation whilst being in an enclosed space, so he tried to distract himself by speaking to Crowley over the sound of Queen. He explained he was in the village and why the book was so utterly fascinating.

  
Talking did relax him to the point that Aziraphale didn't realise his hand had found Crowley's on top of the gear stick. Blushing, he risked a glance at the demon, who hadn't paid much attention. The feel of his lover’s smooth skin sent shivers down his spine. Crowley didn't seem to mind the contact and the amorousness he felt coursing through his veins made the Angel a little brave.

  
A well-manicured hand travelled from the back of Crowley's hand, down along the length of his arm in a comforting manner. Crowley assumed it was a silent sign of appreciation for coming to his Angel’s rescue, up until he felt the unmistakable pressure on his thigh.

  
"Angel...no." Crowley growled without taking his eyes of the road. The country roads weren't busy, but you never knew when a stray sheep or deer would appear, and he would rather not have an animal-shaped dent in his car.

  
The warning would have normally been enough to make Aziraphale back off, but the spell coursing through his being only intensified his arousal at the growl. The rational part of his brain was shutting down and all he craved was the soothing sensation of Crowley taking him in his arms.

  
For a moment, it seemed like Aziraphale was listening and taking his hand away, but the unmistakable pressure of a grope happened next. Hastily, Crowley’s mind shot back to the argument. He conceded it was unfair that only he got to devour his Angel in all the wicked ways his mind wanted. This week, he'd had a lot of breathing space to think (thanks to the Angel's sulking) and he'd considered letting Aziraphale having his way - but surely not at the expense of crashing his car? Another grope close to his groin quickly brought him out of his thoughts.

  
"Aziraphale! Pack it in, I said no! I thought you were ill?" Crowley shouted whilst skidding round a bend, narrowly avoiding another car. That one had been too close; they'd almost scratched the paint on the doors. "What is wrong with you?"

  
"C...Crowley...please...please Stop the car. I really don't feel well" Aziraphale whined softly as he removed his hand, close to tears.

  
Frustrated, Crowley expertly swerved the Bentley into another road and found that it was a dead end next to a large wooden gate. Braking harshly, he took a moment to release his death grip on the steering wheel, helping to reign his irritation in. Crowley turned toward the Angel to find his boiling anger extinguished by the sight presented.

  
The usually prim and stuffy Angel instantly stripped his tartan bow tie off and opened the top buttons of his shirt. The normally pale, ivory skin of his neck was deeply flushed, and he could hear Aziraphale trying to take deep breaths to calm himself. Whatever this illness was had effected the Angel more than he had let on - he wouldn't stop shivering whilst holding onto the door of the Bentley. The book he'd been holding had fallen on the floor when Crowley braked.

  
"Aziraphale?" Concerned, he reached out toward his lover (boyfriend? Soulmate? They never had that talk), intending to the soothe him. He swallowed a gasp as Aziraphale looked up to meet his yellow eyes with hooded grey ones. The intense lust reflected back had his pupils blown wide.

  
Crowley's gaze flickered lower. He could see why Aziraphale had been so handsy with him earlier, the ordinarily pristine trousers he wore did little to hide the already-hard erection the Angel was sporting. If the wet spot spreading on his groin was anything to go by, the Angel was incredibly aroused.

  
"Oooooh....Angel!" it suddenly made sense to Crowley. A Witch’s book! Witches liked to play games with their enemy Witch hunters. This would have made a hilarious booby trap if it had happened to anyone else.

  
"Crowley..." Aziraphale whispered, voice unsure, looking at Crowley with a frightened gaze. Now that they had stopped, he was doing his best to abstain himself from touching the other again. It was hard to fight the instinct to grab the Demon when all his nerves felt like they'd been set alight with Hell fire. He really did want to respect Crowley's space, but whatever the Witch’s Tome had done had other ideas.

  
It broke Crowley's heart in many different ways to see how scared and conflicted Aziraphale looked. He wouldn't have it. Sighing, he ran long fingers through his hair and removed his sunglasses to place them in the front compartment alongside the others. It was time to bite the bullet for his soulmate.

  
"Get in the back."

  
"I'm awfully sorry, Crowley. Please, just give me a moment. I won’t do it again. I will control myself." Aziraphale pleaded.

  
"Oh for... Aziraphale, get in the back now so I can look after you!" Crowley ushered the confused and horny Angel out of the car.

  
The sun was setting now, the orange and yellow glow spread across the English countryside. Crowley knew they probably won’t make it back to London until much later than intended. As Aziraphale opened the back door on the passenger side, Crowley snapped his fingers to cast a small miracle to cloak the car. It might have been getting dark, but he didn't trust humans to not stumble across the car on the country lane. He would rather not have any more interruptions.

  
Aziraphale sat on the back-passenger seat rigidly, legs closed. He was still shuddering, the brief exposure to the cool dusk air doing little to cool his heated skin. Crowley sighed as he opened the door opposite, he'd made a right mess of things by taking his insecurity out on Aziraphale as usual. He could tell Aziraphale was uncomfortable about finding it hard to be considerate of Crowley's wishes thanks to the hex.

  
Wishing to waste no time in allowing Aziraphale to wallow, he climbed in and roughly yanked at the Angel's legs until he was laying across the back seats, with enough room for Crowley to settle between his quivering thighs. Aziraphale let out a squeak of surprise that quickly turned into a sensual moan when he felt their groins connect.

  
"I'm sorry Angel, let me make you feel better." Crowley captured Aziraphale’s lips in a passionate kiss, caressing his erection through his trousers. The sensation was explosive across Aziraphale’s heightened nerves, the damned spell making him feel everything so much stronger. He arched, more desperate than usual, into the Demon’s waiting hand, gripping both his shoulders tightly.

  
"Oh God, Crowley!" Aziraphale keened. The heat of arousal shot through him like electricity, the situation much more delightful than any of his fantasies had been. Having Crowley towering over him in the enclosed space of the Bentley filled him with thrilling feelings of both safety and claustrophobia.

  
Crowley leaned down next to Aziraphale's ear and licked the outer shell. "You're a wet mess for me already, darling." he whispered seductively, much to the Angel’s delight. The full body shiver he felt go through the Angel was worth it.

  
The red-haired Demon wasted no time in vanishing away the Angel's ruined trousers. His erection bobbed against his stomach, leaking. Crowley continued to nibble on Aziraphale’s neck and ear, pausing only to retrieve a bottle of lube from the glove box. He bought it last week to replenish their stash and had forgotten it was there until now. He squirted a healthy amount into one hand, while the other wrapped long fingers around the Angel's wet length.

  
With the first feel of skin on skin contact on his cock, Aziraphale moaned loudly without abandon. It surprised Crowley - it usually took more to undo the shy Angel, and convince him to be more vocal. It was evident that the spell had pushed Aziraphale past being wanton.

  
He set a steady pace of well-lubricated strokes while he dominated the Angel's mouth in a libidinous kiss. Crowley's tongue stole more lewd moans that Aziraphale was too hazed-over with pleasure to be embarrassed about making. His world narrowed down to the act of thrusting his hips and cock shamelessly into the Demon's hand.

  
Slowly, Crowley moved his other hand between Aziraphale’s legs to circle his hole. At the initial push of one deft finger to the first knuckle, Aziraphale tore his mouth from their kiss to cry out. His hips thrashed first towards the intrusion, then away just as sharply. A loud, salacious moan left his lips as thick, white ropes of come hit his shirt. Aziraphale panted against a stunned Crowley, who paused his stroking to kiss the Angel tenderly. He could feel Aziraphale, still hard in his hand, but sensed a lack of the previous wound-up tension in his body after the orgasm. Crowley had never seen the Angel come so hard that quickly, or hear him make a promiscuous sound like that.

  
"How do you feel, Angel?" Crowley ventured as they'd rested for a few minutes. He couldn't deny the display had made him painfully aroused. The need to have his Angel was starting to outweigh the nervousness of taking him in his beloved car. The fondness (Crowley refuses to call it love) he felt for both entities melted and blurred into a mess inside his heart until Aziraphale’s essence was the only thing grounding his mind.

  
"B..Better but still..." Aziraphale blushed. He no longer felt like his skin was too tight, or that the molten core in his groin was going to burst. The burning arousal settled to a warm glow that started to build up again slowly, instead of the previous overwhelming desperation. Gently, he thrust his hips up, his cock brushing against the bulge in Crowley's tight jeans. Aziraphale relaxed futher against the leather upholstery of the seats and spread his legs as much as he could in the tight space. One had to curl around Crowley's hip, and he used it to encourage him closer.

  
Crowley hissed at the movement. "Good. I'm not done taking care of you yet." He returned to claim Aziraphale’s swollen lips again in a searing kiss.

  
He continued with prepping Aziraphale's entrance, well-practiced hands stretching and soothing the Angel. His orgasm had taken the edge off, but if his already weeping erection was anything to go by, the spell wasn't finished yet. Aziraphale broke another kiss to moan and thrust down harder when Crowley caught his prostrate.

  
Smirking, Crowley gently teased the sensitive bundle of nerves whilst he licked a wet stripe down the Angel's neck and as far as the shirt would allow him. Aziraphale breathed hot words of encouragement against Crowley's ear as he wrapped his arms around the demon's neck for purchase.

  
Crowley paused to apply more lube to his fingers once he felt Aziraphale was ready for more. The sight of the clear liquid, dribbling from Aziraphale’s entrance onto the seats of his car, sent an uncomfortable shiver down his spine that he chose to ignore. He'd make Aziraphale clean the mess up as payback. The blissed-out Angel murmured against Crowley's lips when he felt more fingers, preparing him thoroughly.

  
"Good...so good to me...good Demon - " Aziraphale babbled.

  
Crowley's instant reaction to the compliment was a sensation of panic. He wasn't good. He was a Demon. A Demon with undeniable feelings for an Angel, nonetheless. When he deemed Aziraphale ready, his trousers were open and half-way down his long legs with a snap of his fingers. His cock stood to full attention, heavy and leaking. Crowley pulled the Angel's arms from around his neck and pinned them just above his messy white locks. Looming over the Angel, Crowley felt the situation sink in. Aziraphale was panting in anticipation, the heat of the atmosphere making it very obvious that they really were about to fuck inside the Bentley.

  
Crowley was in position, ready to breach Aziraphale's prepared hole, but he just couldn't bring himself to push forward. They'd fucked many times, in many places but this - this meant so much more to Crowley and his Angel wanted, no, needed it.

  
"Crowley....please." Aziraphale protested weakly, trying to edge closer. The spell was starting to affect him again. Unable to control his body, his expression glazed over with lust and love.

  
It just so happened that this moment, the Bentley got fed up with its 6000-year-old owner's emotional constipation (he really was old enough to know better), and decided to take matters into its own mechanical control. The CD player that had turned off when Crowley parked the car roared to life once more to play the Greatest Hits of Queen. The sweet melody of 'Love of My Life' filtered through the Bentley, leaving Crowley bewildered. He looked from his dashboard to the Angel underneath him and laughed.

 

Aziraphale gazed up, confused. The fire of emotion coursing through his body was starting to become overwhelming and Crowley still hadn't moved.

  
Crowley kissed the Angel's furrowed brow in apology and pushed his hips forward with care. The feeling of his hole stretching to accommodate Crowley's girth made Aziraphale moan obscenely loudly. Crowley was grateful no one was around to hear. He swallowed the Angel's sinful noises with kisses as he entered Aziraphale gently. They took a moment to pause and let Aziraphale adjust, which was very difficult with how the Angel squirmed impatiently.

  
Sweat ran down the Demon’s back, his shirt sticking to his skin with the effort of trying to keep still. The car was quickly becoming a furnace. He waited as long as he could stand it, finally unpinning Aziraphale’s wrists to caress down the Angel’s hips. Crowley slid one hand underneath to grip one round cheek of the Angel's arse. Using it as purchase, his skinny hips snapped forward with a deep thrust.

  
Aziraphale shivered at the penetration, his mouth held open in a silent ‘O’. Crowley choose a punishing pace to start with. Resting one elbow by Aziraphale’s head meant he was completely covering the Angel with his heated body. Aziraphale felt the burning pleasure at his groin heighten with felt Crowley’s heaving chest against his own. The near-suffocating friction of their stomachs rubbing against his cock sent a thrilling shiver through him.

  
The Angel let out a choked, hoarse moan when Crowley's clever hips pounded him harder. It was impossible to keep his breathing even; everything became too hot. His shirt clung to his flushed body, and the ferocity of Crowley’s thrusts were moving them physically closer against the door. Crowley was flooded with the inescapable desire to be closer to Aziraphale, chasing his pleasure with each stroke. He'd trapped the Angel between the car door and pistoning hips, leaving the Angel's normally pristine shirt and waistcoat impossibly wrinkled. The white coat had slid down his shoulders when Crowley forced him into a half-sitting position, the angle making the Angel cry out when Crowley's cock brushed his prostate.

  
Aziraphale had enough sense to free one arm from his jacket to caress Crowley’s cheek, delicately tracing the lines of the tattoo. He pulled Crowley into a desperate and searing open-mouthed kiss. Crowley groaned, snaking his tongue to claim each and every tiny moan that left Aziraphale's cherub lips. If this is what making love felt like, they'd have to do it more often instead of just fucking.

  
"Deeper, Crowley, deeper please, dear - " The Angel shuddered, his leg wrapped tightly around the Demon’s bony hip to press their joined parts closer. Crowley could not deny Aziraphale’s request, doubling his efforts to bring his partner more pleasure.

  
Aziraphale lost himself to passion when Crowley deepened his thrusts, his back arched at the molten lust coursing rapidly through his body. He knew he wouldn't last much longer under the assault. A particularly hard thrust hit his prostate dead center, pulling a guttural moan from his lips.

  
Crowley sinking his teeth into the hyper-sensitive skin underneath his ear was his undoing. The blessed Angel orgasmed with his cock untouched, the sensation shattering any semblance of control he had over his body. The evidence of his pleasure painted his belly. Aziraphale slapped his free hand against the Bentley’s window to try to ground himself, leaving a smudged handprint in its wake as it slipped down the pane.

  
The red-haired Demon saw the handprint and groaned salaciously. It was like the Angel had placed a claiming mark on the car, intensifying the pleasurable assault he felt with Aziraphale’s insides squeezing his cock. He thrust a few more times before he closed his eyes and followed the Angel into the descent of satiated contentment.

  
Aziraphale whined softly, feeling Crowley’s essence fill his pliant body. The burning tension caused by the hex dissapeared as he tried to catch his breath. Stroking through Crowley's hair soothingly, even a tired Aziraphale could sense the atmosphere between the two of them was more tender than usual.

  
Crowley relaxed against the grooming, feeling more intimately connected (in the metaphorical sense, he knew they were literally still connected) to the Angel than he had over the past 6000 years. Eyes still closed, he placed a trail of small kisses against the ivory skin underneath him. He felt Aziraphale shudder. Concerned, he massaged thick thighs until he felt the Angel melt against him.

  
Gently cupping Crowley's chin, Aziraphale stole his attention away from his neck to share a tender, chaste kiss. Crowley opened his eyes when he broke away from the pliant Angel, they gazed at the post-orgasmic glow on Aziraphale. He smiled at the disheveled state he’d induced. The CD player was still going in the background, resonating against their panting. smoothly, the track changed to Queen's 'I'm in love with my car'.

  
"You're definitely cleaning my car, darling." Crowley chuckled, capturing Aziraphale’s lips in another kiss full of promises.


End file.
